Sunday, August 20, 2006

Layman's Guide To Suicide

just in case you were wondering... that's a title of a book. if you're feeling terribly depressed and entertaining suicidal thoughts, have a read of this book. there's an online version of it here.

" Whatever the case, you're now probably thinking to yourself, "Hey wait a minute, what if where I'm going is worse than where I am right now?" That's the dilemma, it's pretty much a crap shoot, and certainly something to consider.

So pop your head out of the oven, take the dry cleaning bag off your head, loosen the noose, put down the shotgun, quit inhaling the carbon monoxide, stop drinking the cleaning fluid and downing the sleeping pills - or whatever else you're doing - and take a breather to review a few of the possibilities."

haha. it cracked me up and made me feel abit better. just thought i'd share it with you equally miserable people out there. just doing my bit for the community.


more death humour!! wheeeee.

1. In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol.

The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia.

2. The Greek painter Zeuxis laughed so much at one of his own paintings he broke a blood vessel and died.

3. The Greek playwright Aeschylus was killed when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head.

4. The Chinese Poet Li Po died when, on a boat, he leaned over the side to kiss the moon's reflection on the water, fell in and drowned.

5. Jack Daniel, founder of the famous Tennessee whiskey distillery, died of blood poisoning due to a toe injury he received after kicking his safe in anger when he could not remember its combination code. (1911)


Torture a confession said...

thanks for the advice,but I'm afraid I might follow it if I read it. Curiosity will kill this cat.

lisha said...

it's quite handy. it tells you fun ways to plan ur funeral, funny death notes, bizarre wills.

at least it won't be a boring death.