Wednesday, January 31, 2007

angry sex

apparently it's amazing. i won't say who told me that. but apparently it's amazing. and i believe it.

imagine a torrent of anger, a whirlwind of emotions - rage, hurt, pain, betrayal, love, resentment - all whipped up together. and then lust comes in. and while you're screaming at him about how much of a miserable piece of shit he is, he grabs you and shoves you against the wall.

and... you can imagine the rest.

that WOULD be abit of fun, i reckon. alas, it is something i will probably never experience in my menial life because i lack the passion and emotion that complements that sort of situation.

i don't rage. i don't yell. i don't scream. i just seethe. silently. if i had angry sex, it'd be silent angry sex. it'd be like having sex in a graveyard. weird.

Friday, January 26, 2007

can i just not leave?

i know. i know. i'm the one who decided to move back to kl so i should just shut my mouth and stop whinging.

but fuck it. i'm a whinger. deal with it.

i love these lazy summer days. they're so beautiful. i wish i had more time to stay and enjoy. alas... i am still in the midst of packing up all my shit. so much stuff. nine years worth of crap. lots of memories. lots of junk that holds sentimental value to me. pretty-la things which i am loathe to discard. and of course, a whole heap of computer accessories which i refuse to throw out.

i will miss melbourne. and my friends. and the shopping. and the lifestyle.

but i will back again. no doubt about that.


Monday, January 22, 2007

bells a-ringing and love is in the air


they are now officially mr & mrs yeow. woo hoooo!!

the wedding was picture perfect. thanks to alice and noelle, the terrace garden looked fantastic with flowers, lanterns, mandarins, candles and red ribbons to complete the east meets west theme.

the bride herself looked absolutely stunning. jaw-droppingly HOT. i know "hot" isn't exactly the word people use to describe brides... but what can i say. ally was HOT!! she didn't quite pull off the virginal bride thing, but no one would expect her to. hahaha.

bryan looked equally amazing in his full suit - waistcoat, kercheif, corsage and all - the whole she-bang. topped off with the beautiful bridesmaids and handsome groomsmen, the setting was perfect.

it was an intimate occasion kept to only close family and friends. everything had a personal touch to it, from the invitation cards to the deco, to the door gifts - specially designed labels stuck on wine bottles for each guest.

tears brimmed in many pairs of eyes as we witnessed the union of the lovely couple, especially when they exchanged speeches and ally whipped out a surprise for bryan.

"bryan, i have a surprise for you. sit down."
crowd whoops and yells, "lap dance! lap dance!"
"no it's not a lapdance!"

nick strums his guitar and ally starts singing a couple of songs to bryan. he is genuinely surprised and he starts to tear. at the end of the songs, they kiss.

*sigh* love is bliss.

it's truly magical when you see two of your dearest friends so happy together. and you can't help but wish for that happiness to last their lifetime. and that you find your own equivalent.

will post some pics up soon...

Friday, January 19, 2007

don't chase me. unless you're ready to catch me.

that is my favourite quote from grey's anatomy because i can totally understand and relate to it. in fact, i can totally relate to meredith's character. daddy issues.


i'm done.
i'm pulling back.
no more reaching out.
i'll be here but we can meet halfway.
i'm so weak it makes me sick.
i hate that i'm so into you.
i hate that i care so much.

but i can't hate you.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


i had another moth episode today.

i was happily munching on lychees at bambi's watching grey's anatomy and a moth comes spiralling down at dangerous speeds, landing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME... and it had the NERVE to flail its fragile wings like a damsel in distress waving her handkerchief for help.

naturally, i jumped to my feet, screamed and ran in the opposite direction, laughing and crying at the same time. laughing because i knew how absurd the situation was, and crying because i got that scared.

i think i freaked jon out (bambi's brother).

i think moths have this inane ability to sense fear. just as they are drawn to the light, they are drawn to me because they KNOW i fear them. and they abuse that power. bastards.

ok. back to grey's anatomy. season three. episode nine.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

couch paralysis

bambi and i have just spent the entire day... and i mean ENTIRE day, watching the second season of grey's anatomy. fourteen hours straight of grey's anatomy.

i never got into it before, but today was the turning point. talk about hedonism.

i have a headache from watching so much tv. my body just can't handle it.

why do we promise never to hurt the person we love? it's an empty promise because you can never guarantee it's a promise you will keep. you may somehow, inadvertently hurt them without knowing it, and there goes your promise out the window.

not meeting their expectations. being less of a person than they thought you were. not making enough or as much effort as you're putting in.

these things cause hurt too - a continuous, dull aching as opposed to the sharp pain you feel when someone cheats on you or dumps your sorry ass.

we forget that.

and so we suffer in silence. because it's just a dull ache that can be suppressed with sufficient distractions.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

CLM potential

oh. my. god.

i just had a conversation on msn with my colleague and throughout the whole time she was saying really weird lesbo/boobie/naked comments but i didn't think anything of it.

turns out it was my boss.

lucky lucky lucky i didn't say anything bad about him!! that would have been a rather big CLM (career limiting move)!!!

i feel like whacking him on the head. yes, i should.

Friday, January 12, 2007

the crybaby award goes to..... *drumroll*


the night before i left for melbourne, alvin and i crept downstairs to rummage for some supper quietly, so as not to wake anyone up. on the way down the stairs, i spotted a huge moth. i froze.

he turned to look at me.

"babe? what are you doing?"
i pointed, eyes wide in fear, "moth."
"moth!!" as if that one word is enough to explain everything.
"just come down la."

the moth was sitting still on the wall tapestry, so i decided to creep down the stairs past it. eyeing it like a mouse eyes a sleeping cat, i moved slowly. down the stairs. closer. closer. and then...

the moth flew precariously towards my face. suppressing a scream, i panicked and burst into tears and ran down the stairs.

"babe? are you okay?"
he hugged me while i sobbed like a baby.

"you're crying over a moth?" he laughed.
"shut up."
"can't believe you're crying because of a MOTH!"
"shut up!!"

we continued our search for food in the stillness of the night.


i have an insane fear of moths. and flying birds. but birds are fine because they generally don't fly at you. moths, on the other hand, are fuckers who don't know how to fly properly. they don't even flutter graciously. they flap hopelessly and unpredictably in any direction.

flying cockroaches are even worse.

i'm already sick of packing and i've barely started. been busy stocktaking, sorting what needs to be kept and what i can bear to throw out/give away. clearing my shit off shelves and desks to take photos to post up for sale.

in fact, i UNPACKED a box yesterday. i still have stuff in boxes from my previous move to the apartment. i move faster than i can unpack. -_- not good.

being in the apartment brings back a flood of memories. overweight emotional baggage and guilt throw themselves at me. so i continue to focus on packing. pack. pack. pack. don't think. just pack.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

the glare of reality

it can be a sudden shock to the system when you realise you've been living in an illusion, caught up in the web of your own desires. then slowly, the illusion melts away, leaving you in the glare of reality.

a glare so bright it hurts.

you try to crawl back into your fantasy world, but no matter how hard you try, it's never the same. the fabric has been torn and can never be repaired.

yet, you still persist to live in that illusion. a temporary happiness to ease the pain and salve your wounds.

actions of a fool. a fool who knows his/her actions will only result in more hurt and damage.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

summer : day one

i love love love summer. there is something about it that just never fails to put a smile on my face. i just want to twirl and dance under the beaming sun, and get a tan doing it.

i forgot what it's like to be able to walk all over the place without having to worry about rapists/robbers/wolf cries and get around without a car. it makes me want to ditch kl and come back. unfortunately, i'm too WL4 for that.

and the shopping!! god i miss the shopping. i had to try soooo hard to avert my eyes from all the shops. i automatically walked into stores without realising and pulled myself out with all the willpower i could muster. it was hard. it's like putting a pack of cocaine on the table in front of a crackwhore.

ally accompanied me for wonderful lasagne at pellegrini's. after stuffing ourselves, we hunted around for our outfits for saturday night - ally's hen's night themed THE ROARING 20s.

after that, i made my way to the apartment to have a look at the upcoming headache i'll have to face - packing.


walking around melbourne brings back many memories - good and bad - along with a whole bunch of mixed emotions that bubble up to the surface after four months of repression.

oh well. guess that's why i bailed.


it's freaking hot. i need to hit the beach at least once in this trip.

Monday, January 08, 2007

dum di dum di doo

i am procrastinating. my room is in a mess. and the thought of packing just makes me wince. even though i'm planning on bringing an empty suitcase.

but organising my room and trying to minimise the amount of stuff i'm going to take... is not a five minute job.

there was a big hoo ha this morning because my cheque hadn't cleared yet so i called the bank to find out why. apparently the name on the cheque was spelt wrongly. and it wasn't just missing one letter.

instead of song chor koon, they wrote song kor choon. which is really. quite. a. big. difference.

and i failed to notice it!! i even looked at it! and so did alvin, yet, neither of us noticed it. i was probably just busy looking at the amount.

dumbass. well, i learnt my lesson. i panicked because that was my trip funding!! i rushed to the bank to collect my rejected cheque on the way to lunch with my godmother and asked my boss to reissue me another one today.

but that would still mean i wouldn't get cash in time. i went to the office after lunch to pick up my cheque and pass him the rejected one. thank god my boss was one step ahead of me and passed me my whole salary in cash instead. *phew*

i won't have to eat bread and drink water in melbourne after all. hehe. well.. i might still have to since after conversion, it doesn't amount to much. -_-

okay, okay. enough procrastination. gotta start packing!!

i'm looking forward to seeing my lovelies in melbourne. and my beloved cousin whom i trust has mastered the recipe for mee pok by now. *hint hint*

Saturday, January 06, 2007

nothing dampens your weekend like...

having to go to work on a saturday morning to work on a whole new campaign.

the entire creative floor has been pulled in to work over the weekend. because we have fucking dumbass clients who expect an entire campaign to be pulled out of our grotty arseholes in two days.

then they complain about not getting breakthrough ideas and work.

hmm... i wonder why?

oh well. on the bright side... i will not be facing that hated account for three weeks starting monday!!

boba pearl... here i come!!!!!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

i want, i crave

i have this sudden insane craving for bovril and porridge.


talk about random.


ugh. i am so not in work mode after the last couple of weeks. with my eye infection, fever, christmas and new year public holidays, i have not worked a full week in about a month.

these next two months will be equally slack. three days of work, then off to melbourne on tuesday for three weeks.

when i get back, it'll be two weeks work and then chinese new year holidays.


i predict a huge period of depression in march when i realise the holidays are over and the rest of the year is workworkwork.


okay. enough procrastinating...

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

i hear summer calling...

by this time, one week from now, my feet shall find familiar steps back in melbourne.

i've already thought of a few things i want to pig out on when i get back:

- durian gelati
- boba pearl mee pok
- good sushi
- sliced rare beef pho noodles
- pork bulgogi
- churros
- red meat, red meat, red meat
- good pastas

funny... a majority of the food listed are asian. just goes to show how innundated melbourne is with asians. we're like pests that infiltrate through every part of the world. wherever you go, we're there too!!

i've never spent summer in melbourne. now that i've left, i may have the chance to. what irony.

Monday, January 01, 2007

ushering in the new year

i'm sure a large amount of the world population is currently recovering from the aftermath of new year's eve.

i'm not part of that population.

my new year's eve was fairly uneventful. i try my best to avoid crowds of sweaty, drunk idiots. i tagged along with chucky to his friend's place for a pool party. well, at least this year, i didn't miss the transition into the new year... unlike last year.

last year, a bunch of us were too busy gambling and completely missed the countdown. oops.

last night ended with girish sprawled on the toilet floor... his face dangling over the squat toilet. i felt sorry for his tsubi jeans. it took the guys about an hour to finally drag and carry him out of the toilet.

moral of the story - don't act like a hero and force others to drink when you can't handle it yourself. self-inflicted misery brings no sympathy.

i'm not exactly enthusiastic about a whole new year like i usually am. i guess i don't feel i have anything to look forward to this time. it'll be one job or another. the same old me. the same old things.

pessimistic? that's my middle name.

happy new year everybody!!