Friday, June 30, 2006

no longer straight

no. i haven't suddenly decide to bat for the other side. jet would have a heart attack, the poor dear. or at least, i would like to think he would.


i got my hair done today. finally... after several years of wondering whether or not i should, i finally took the plunge. plus, i had to wait for my hair to grow a little longer.


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i like it. it's a refreshing change from having had straight hair that doesn't want to be straight... all my life. now it's got an excuse not to be straight.

okay... enough parading. time to go to laundry, and be part of the crowd that zombifies in front of the big screen watching sweaty grown men chase after a scruffy white ball. and celebrate pat's bachelor status for the next week!!

vows are meant to be broken

so i went to mambo @ velvet with ally, bryan, alice, jackie and TY to find that we had been placed at one of the SHITTEST tables.. right at the back where people were constantly pushing through and the table was about the size of a toilet bowl. it was then that i learnt there were different classes of tables. and we were in C reserve.

thankfully, phil the ogre had a table in the usual spot so we hopped over and plopped ourselves comfortably in what i now know as A reserve.

stupid right. it's a club la. not a theatre.

i had pre-warned everyone about my not being able to drink, to save energy and time later on from having to fend off alcos trying to feed me alcohol. correction - psychotic alcos. so i started sipping on coke, trying to psychologically pump myself up.

i started chanting to myself in my head - "i don't need alcohol to have fun. i don't need alcohol to have fun. i don't need alcohol to have fun."

then ally ordered two lychee martinis... and that was it. my willpower disappeared with a big POOF!! but i was good. i sipped very, very, very slowly... while alice gave me disapproving looks. and then the skanking began...!!

drunk bitches skanking everywhere, falling all over the place, spilling whisky on unsuspecting victims, trigger happy fingers - the elements that make up a great mambo night. i had great fun despite being completely sobre and i found it quite refreshing. although, my feet didn't share the same sentiment. they were screaming for a numbing agent.

next week... cam and jin min will be back and i'm looking forward to it. woohoo!

all photos are with ally. i have not been taking out my ancient bigass camera for fear of knocking innocent bystanders out with the bloody thing. plus, it won't fit in a clutch. if you are rolling in cash (especially with the world cup!!) and are feeling generous... you could sponsor me with a new compact digital camera. =D and if not, well.... can't blame a girl for trying. heh.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

i'm sorry doctor!!

so much for abstaining from alcohol. monday night, i went for drinks with old school friends, johan and leo at laundry. at first, i wasn't going to have any. then i thought, what the hell... one drink won't hurt. besides, lychee martinis are basically lychee juice, right? =p

khairul, my ex-neighbour and schoolmate, rocked up as well. by the end of the night, i had 3 lychee martinis and a shot of tequila, courtesy of leo. bastard. fairyjoyce and i had been swapping our tequila horror stories not long before that.

the next day, i paid for disobeying doctor dearest. i spent half the day throwing my guts up, even after everything had come out. i threw up about 9 times. i broke into a frantic sweat as my vision started to black out. but i managed to hold on to consciousness. i could eat nothing for the whole day until dinner time.

i spent the whole day vegetating on the couch. if i stayed any longer, i'd probably start germinating.

well... i learned my lesson. when doctor says no alcohol.... better listen to him. *sigh* mambo is going to be a challenge tonight.

Monday, June 26, 2006


i'm sorry but i just HAVE to rant about our dim sum disaster at federal hotel yesterday. i don't know WHY we even went there in the first place. it's shit.

as usual, the song dynasty had our weekly sunday brunch. we, on the kids table, had finished our food and ordered dessert. you know the usual... longan taufu, sai mai lo, etc etc.

three of my cousins ordered the longan taufu. and when they came, we noticed something was missing... LONGANS!! so we thought, okay... maybe they're just hidden under the taufu. everyone starts digging and reports no longans.

i was irked. how can you serve longan taufu, without longans?? so i called this waiter and questioned him, in cantonese, can you believe it?

"excuse me, this is longan taufu, right?"
"yes, it is."
"so, then why are there no longans??" i asked with my eyebrows raised.

he didn't know what to say so he smiled and practically ran in the kitchen to hide. a few minutes later, when it was evident he wasn't coming out, i hailed down one of the senior staff and repeated the same question.

"oh, they forgot to give you longans?" she said with surprise.

she went back into the kitchen and reappeared a few minutes later.... with a little saucer of longans.

"here... you can put them on your taufu," she smiled as if she had come up with a genius solution.

my cousins and i just stared at each other in disbelief. is that woman stupid or what? that's not longan taufu!! that's longan WITH taufu. we then told one of our aunts who again complained. and you know what? this time... they brought a BOWL of longans!!!!!

at that point, i gave up. i decided... i DO NOT EVER WANT TO GO BACK THERE!! if my family wants to go, they can go. but i refuse to be served with such idiocy anymore.

besides... their fung zhao looked like 90 year old chicken feet - dried, wrinkly, tough and tasteless. AND they failed to inform us of their 50% promotion with citibank cards, which really riled up one of my uncles. AND my cousin found a booger-looking thing in her sai mai lo, which really put me off mine.

bye bye federal. you can stick your longans elsewhere.

roving doctor, reptiles and strangulation

last night, i had more bizarre dreams!! in no particular order:

dream #1

noelle and i were in this reptillian centre with huge aquariums filled with snakes and dragons. yea... dragons. who says they're just myths? they're real!! anyway... noelle was obsessing over the snakes... we had a tour guide explaining stuff although i don't remember what.

but yes, noelle was driving me nuts coz she kept making me look at all these squirming snakes and squealing over how she wanted one. then came the little dragons and she wanted to pat them... while they were trying to bite her hand off. but she seemed completely oblivious to it. the tour guide was trying to explain that they don't make good pets and can't be trained not to bite, but all advice fell on deaf ears.

no... no snakes or dragons noelle.

then suddenly... we were in a nursery with the tour guide. and we were ooh-ing and ah-ing over orchids, tulips, lilies, chrysanthemums... what the hell?

dream #2

i needed to see a doctor. apparently, to see the doctor, people have to wait on the corner of la trobe street for a person from the clinic to appear with a sign saying ANGEL. and they would wait until there was a group of people before taking them into the clinic where we had to fill a form. and while waiting, there was this really ANNOYING indian guy who wouldn't stop talking to me so i ran across the street with trams and cars ready to knock into me. he was THAT annoying.

finally it was time to go into the clinic and everyone had to wait in this canteen-looking area. people were swapping stories and excuses as to why they needed a medical certificate. then we all hopped into this car where the doctor drove us around until we came near to someone's house where he would go treat them. we ended up near my grandmother's house, but i couldn't for the life of me remember what street number she was on.

i tried calling my uncle and he picked up. so i asked him what the address was and he said he couldn't remember. the doctor kept asking me to hurry up coz we were still circling the area. my uncle kept blubbering and pausing and i started yelling at him and he started crying. and he said my grandmother was in trouble.

somehow it turned out my uncle's daughter and my grandmother had died. and i had this picture of a dragon being strangled by a baby snake.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

the G bday


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the usual suspects

G is one of the few treasures found in this dirty, corrupted world. an idealist at heart, he is always genuine and has everyone's best interests in mind. always eager to please, he will scour the state for something he knows you like or throws pleasant surprises on the unsuspecting.

he is something of a sentimentalist though he will not openly admit it. i have enjoyed many long chats with him about life, love and everything in between. G is my long kai buddy at odd hours of the morning. from 2am la-la eating sessions to random driving to unworldly places, driving to klang at 2am and waiting for bak kut teh stores to open at 6am and many other little adventures.

totally original, full of joy and more spontaneous than a leaping frog. but i hear he's spending his birthday on the toilet seat due to diarrhea.

lousy la you, G. you've only been in the states for a few months and your stomach tolerance has already died. FAIL!!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


this is ridiculous. i'm feeling terribly tired even though i slept through til 11am and haven't done anything apart from eat and sit in front of the PC.

yet i feel as if i've just gone for a swim, a run and kickboxing.

then again... i've always had low energy levels. but my sugar levels should rise dramatically after dinner and supper.

we're going to swensen's for my little sister's birthday. and then to a&w for supper with jm. *happy dance* talk about being a big kid.

ice cream! waffles! coney dog! fried chicken! root beer! *going crazy*

Monday, June 19, 2006

cheer up

i thought this was adorably funny. courtesy of jet:

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and says, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft, fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers .....

" I don't weally fink my pet pyfon gives a phuk."

Sunday, June 18, 2006

vow of abstinence

i just got an email from my doctor regarding my hep B. yes i'm a walking disease. shut up.

Hi Alysia,

It's not something to get too worried about. I've just received your liver function tests. Your ALT is approximately 400, which is reasonably elevated. It suggests a good immune response against the virus at the present moment - hopefully this will lead to immune control of your infection. With an ALT at this level you may experience some symptoms - fatigue, a little nausea and perhaps some abdominal discomfort. You shouldn't have any alcohol until it falls, and any doctor prescribing medication should be aware of the ALT when making decisions about antibiotics etc, if needed. You should have the blood test repeated in a couple of weeks, sooner if you are experiencing symptoms. If it's not for a month or so maybe you could have a blood test done before you return.

This is not something to panic about, we just need to keep an eye on it.

When do you return to Australia?

Let me know if you have any questions,


**** ********

no alcohol? i admit i'm nowhere near the alcoholic like ally or bambi. but heck... NO alcohol? at all? i've been looking forward to having lychee martinis!!

i don't like being deprived of something... regardless of how unimportant it is to me. it's like dangling the forbidden fruit.

the email just explained a lot about my energy levels. i have an excuse now!! bwahahaha. it's not just laziness... well not entirely anyway. heh.

*sigh* no alcohol?? i still can't get over it. what am i supposed to do in clubs and bars now? drink coke? NOOOOO ALCOOOHOOOLLLLL. not even a harmless vodka red bull. >_<

Friday, June 16, 2006

malaysia says hi

i've got a HUGEASS pimple on my chin. it's an absolute beauty. i think it's malaysia's way of saying:

here's a nice pus-filled zit for you

damn polluted air. bah.

today we had family lunch at seri melaka. oh glorious nonya food. sambal petai, assam fish, sambal kangkung, pandan chicken, etc etc... mmmmmmm. wonder what's for dinner?

i've been really pigging out since i arrived. i've been averaging three bowls of rice per meal. three bowls. boon teik, my cousin, looked at me in disgust.

"how do you do it? it's not faiiirrr."

umm. genetics. heh. just wait. it's gonna come back to me when i'm older and i'll explode into a great big walking piece of lard. watch out everybody.


Thursday, June 15, 2006

i am surrounded by random people

jet just messaged me on gmail. he's supposed to be studying hard for his exam tomorrow.

Jet: baby baby!!!
you know what happened
i have been eating this box of the gobstopper candies..
then there was only one left so i tipped the box so the last one came out/./
and guess what fell out as well after it..
me: huh
Jet: a small pink nerd candy!!!!
Jet: hahaha
you know nerds?
by the same company wonka candies?
it must have jumped across the production lines.. and made its way onto the gobstopper line and jumped into the box hehe
k.. back to reading
Sent at 2:10 PM on Thursday
me: baby...
only you could get so excited over a nerd candy in a gobstopper box
Jet: yea la its funny... how did it get there?
it was a high achiever nerd
me: uh huh... -_-
Sent at 2:13 PM on Thursday

u can scroll down...

i swear. he's like a 5 yr old.

and then just this afternoon, my dad took me to eat pan mee (WOOHOOOO!!) and he was as usual talking about how useless and spoilt our generation is, ra ra ra. and he was talking about how good his memory is and how he can still remember phone numbers from 40 yrs ago.

"you know how i used to remember phone numbers?"
"each number, i would imagine it in the shape of a woman or man's body."
"last time, phone numbers were only 6 digits. so if the number is 323668, i imagine 32 is the woman's chest, 36 is the waist and 68 is the buttocks."

-_- that's a mighty big ass.

may the legacy live on

just to update everyone on events of the last few days...

jin min and i were having coffee with ally, bryan, jackie and alice when jin min's mum called. he walked out of the cafe to talk to her, then came back in and called me over with a grim expression. in that moment... i knew. our grandfather had passed away.

it came as a shock. he had caught pneumonia and stayed in hospital for close to a month, spending two weeks in intensive care unit. i was told it was a touch and go situation. BUT, he recovered and was sent home. only a few days before he passed away, my dad had emailed me.

Ah Kong is well and he is more alert than before.

so naturally everyone believed that all would go back to normal, and 95 yr old ah kong (as we call him) would stay on for a couple more years. he has always been strong and fit except over the last yr when he had a bad fall leading to his inability to walk. but he has always been such a permanent fixture in our lives, it seemed he would live forever.

as per usual the entire song dynasty was gathered for weekly sunday brunch. it has been that way for as long as i can remember. apparently the maid was feeding him yu piu (some fish stomach thing) which he loved, and it went down his windpipe causing him to choke. he went blue, then passed out.

everyone rushed him to pantai hospital, two minutes down the road, and the doctors tried to suck the damn thing out but failed. thus, the sudden death of our beloved grandfather.

such irony.

after the long fight against pneumonia, he chokes on his favourite food.

on the bright side, it happened on a sunday where he managed to see almost the entire family before passing away.

the funeral was not all doom and gloom. in fact, it felt more like a celebration than a funeral though we, of course, had our share of grief and mourning. it was a chinese funeral with all the burning and chanting etc etc. i don't understand half of the rituals and personally don't find that they achieve much at all - apart from the chanting prayers.

they burnt a cardboard mansion with maids and an astro dish, a car with a driver and tons of gold ingots. although, i'm pretty sure he won't be needing any of that.

all in all, it was a fairly peaceful farewell. i think most of us feel that he is happier this way. over the last year, most of his time was spent either dozing in front of the tv, staring into space or being fed. we would like to believe he is now with our beloved grandmother watching over the family.

i can only hope the family will remain intact and continue the family tradition of gathering for sunday brunches. that is the legacy ah kong has built and left for us.


i will be in kl until the 12th of july as patrick's wedding is on the 8th of july.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

death comes without warning

my grandfather has just passed away.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

smooth criminals

i arrived on the train platform today just in time to witness three cops trying to arrest a protesting, possibly drunk and boisterous man. although he was yelling and protesting his innocence, he seemed mildly amused with his situation.

"i'm getting arrested for nothing!! what are you arresting me for...blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla...."

i zoned out until the cops finally managed to cuff him and lead him away. three little cops and one big guy.

and just a few weeks ago, jet and i were down at st kilda. we walked past a beeping atm... you know that bloody irritating-wanna-punch-the-machine beeping it makes when it ejects your card until you take it out? i have this little game with myself to see how fast i can take out the card and cash by measuring the beeps. yeah... sad, i know. compulsive behaviour.

anyway... back to the topic. it took us awhile to realise that someone had left their atm card in the machine and there wasn't anyone at the machine. and just when we did, some dodgy ass guy walked up to the atm and looked at it... then suspiciously looked around before keying stuff in and withdrawing a stack of cash.

the owner must've not finished the transaction and left the card behind. painful mistake.

he put it in his jacket pocket and walked away looking very pleased. i would be too if i got a stash of free cash, but not that way. i felt so bad that jet and i hadn't realised before that guy. we would've definitely tried to return the card or something. right after that, the cops drove by and we contemplated stopping them to report it.

but we didn't.

for the next 10-15 mins the guy walked up and down the street and kept putting his hand in his pocket to feel the cash with a grin on his dumbass face.

wat would you have done?

yowzer... light my fire

i was reading joycethefairy's blog and came across this picture. hoooottt!! just thought i'd share the eye candy with those of you who don't read her blog... and even if you do, have another look!!

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stolen from kinkybluefairy

those eyes.... if looks could kill, i would have died a thousand times over.

okay... i better stop before jet comes and kicks my puny butt.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

sadistic dreams

yes... more dreams. i hear you yelling "BOOOOOORRRIIIINNNGGGG!!"

well yell all you like. i can't hear you. have fun.

sadistic dream #1

sometime last week i dreamt jin eu did something to me - something really bad, but i don't know what. and i was commanding jin min to set jin eu on fire. i wanted it to be really painful.

"i don't mean just having the flames lick his skin. i want it to BURN his flesh," i said.

i then proceeded to use a knife to slice off part of my chin, down to the neck and part of my shoulder.

"THIS is how painful it is, and i want him to feel it!" i stuck the knife into my thigh and dragged it through the skin up to my thigh, creating a huge bleeding gash exposing raw flesh and bone.

talk about psycho, right?

somehow my chin, neck and shoulder recovered. it was just this loose skin dangling. i woke up feeling a really weird numb sensation in that area.

sadistic dream #2

i was some middle aged blonde woman and my husband was a middle aged white guy with a stubbly beard in work shirt and pants. we had just arrived from sea travel and we were collecting our baggage.

unbeknownst to my husband, i had bought this HUGEASS parcel of weed and he saw it when we collected our baggage. he was really pissed, for some reason, and took out a gun and started shooting at me. we were in the water and i was trying to half wade, half swim while dodging left and right.

then i saw a block of knives and grabbed one. somehow, i managed to get close enough to my husband and stabbed him. i could FEEL the blade going into the flesh and the friction as i drew the knife out. i kept stabbing and stabbing. and i could feel it each time. i felt sick after that.

i woke up with a bad taste in my mouth.

i'd love to spill all this out to a psychologist and go, "soooo.... what's it all mean?"

short and sweet

i'm talking about me... not the post. *chortle*

so much to say. too much work to do. not enough time.

kill me.


or my tutors.

by today i need to finish:

an a3 montage
design philosophy
folio cover
visual diary

i've been having really bizarre dreams but that's nothing new. i had 3 full-on dreams last night causing me to wake up feeling like i never slept at all.

1st dream:
i had to do some stunt for the magazine - shit in public. so i was taking a massive crap in front of two shops and people were staring at me in disgust. and it STANK so bad!! i could just feel the reek burning my nostrils. and i looked down to see this HUUUUGEEE pile of shit under me. i remember thinking... how did i manage to shit all that out?

i woke up panicking - wondering if i somehow managed to shit myself in my sleep. and no... i didn't.

2nd dream:
jet was juggernaut (from x-men) and there was some other huge guy. i was trying to take him on, punching and wrestling. then jet would demonstrate some kickass jiujitsu come wrestling moves. he used his legs to grab the guy's ankles and flipped him over. this whole fighting thing seemed to go on forever... the guy just wouldn't get the idea and leave us alone.

3rd dream:
i liked this dream. i had a daughter and i was out somewhere. meanwhile, sam newman had sneaked into my house and asked her to marry him. she was like 10 or something. he was really menacing and obviously my daughter was scared. i came back home and i heard shouting so i sneaked around the house, which was HUGE, and i kicked open doors til i found the right room.

i threw a knife and pinned his hand to the wall and demanded what was happening, kill bill style. sam newman feebly lied and said my daughter asked him to marry her. i was like, wtf... that's absurd. and somehow i had this feeling we were old friends and i looked at him and asked again, wat happened?

then there was this whole flashback of sam newman on a boat being attacked by a group of guys. there was this huge water chase and somehow he managed to kill them all. and i was looking down into the water and i could see our dead family underwater, like a film. they were just memories playing underwater.

i asked sam newman if he could see anything, and he described something completely different.

the end.

i woke up exhausted.